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It’s November – Pump the Brakes on EVERYTHING Christmas

On my drive to work this morning I heard a commercial for “Holiday Shopping at ACE Hardware” with little jingle bells in the background. I had to turn it up to see if it was real life. Not only that, I finally get into work and check my phone. I start briefly scrolling through social media while sippin’ on my .94¢ coffee refill from the local Stop-N-Go, which by the way, was my 6th refill of the week and per my “Race to Savings” rewards points criteria it was free. Anyway, sitting there reading through Twitter and see some people Tweeting about it officially being winter because it’s November 1st and Christmas is right around the corner. People, winter in the Northern Hemisphere doesn’t start until December 21st. Not just because it’s November. I also saw a commercial two days ago for a new Grinch movie. It’s TOO EARLY!

All this has led me to this breaking point about what about Christmas you can and can’t talk about and do before certain dates. I’ll give you a breakdown on when you can start doing certain things that relate to “Christmas” and the Holiday’s.


Christmas Shopping

Christmas Shopping Dates

Start – Monday, November 12th (online is an exception, just no Black Friday Shopping online on a Tuesday)
Stop – Sunday, December 23rd (must have ALL Christmas shopping done by the time you go to bed)

Christmas shopping is really the only thing relating to Christmas I’m pretty lenient on, especially coming from a family my size. You need enough time to make sure you’ve got a gift or two for everyone in your family. However, don’t start too early.

Christmas deals start surfacing the week before Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Which, by the way, why do they call it Black Friday if you can go online on Tuesday and get a Black Friday deal? It’s not Friday…Makes no sense. Anyway, The week before Thanksgiving you usually start to see Christmas decor and such in most stores. To be honest, they might already have Christmas stuff out in stores but I wouldn’t know as I don’t go shopping until November 12th. If they do, it’s premature and they need to take it down. If you go plan on shopping in person, you can’t start until November 12th. BUT if you want to shop online, you can start shopping immediately only. Lastly, do not tell me you went Black Friday Shopping online on a Tuesday. It doesn’t count. I’ve never been Black Friday Shopping. Probably never will. But unless you wake your jolly ass up at 3:12 AM to go out into that chaos with all those psycho shoppers, you didn’t go Black Friday Shopping.

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Christmas Music

Christmas Music Dates

Start – First Snowfall of the Year after Thanksgiving, or Monday, December 24th if no snow prior
Stop – Tuesday, December 25th – 11:59 PM

Christmas Music enthusiasts will tell you that you can listen to Christmas Music during Thanksgiving. To any of my family members reading this, don’t you dare ruin my Thanksgiving by throwing on a Christmas Carol. It’s not “that time of year” for Christmas carol’s. If it were that time of year, they wouldn’t label it “Christmas” music. It’d be November & December Music. Christmas occurs one day out of the year. It’s not a 5 1/2 week event. You don’t see people listening to St. Patrick’s Day music and Irish jigs an entire month before it happens. (Is there such a thing?)

I’m okay listening to Christmas music during a snow fall any day after Thanksgiving. If it snows November 12th, don’t turn it on. Thanksgiving hasn’t happened yet. If you go all the way through December without snow, tough luck. Can’t flip on Frosty the Snowman until Christmas Eve. Christmas Day…BLAST that stuff all day long. Doesn’t bother me. But it better stop before December 26th.

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Christmas Decorations (Interior and Exterior)

Interior Christmas Decorations

Put Up – Saturday, November 24th
Take Down – Saturday, January 5th

Exterior Christmas Decorations

Put Up – Sunday, December 2nd
Take Down – Friday, February 1st

Number One Rule: never ever decorate during a week day or week night. It’s just not allowed. Always decorate on the weekend.

When it comes to the exterior decorations you can put them up on Sunday, December 2nd for a number of reasons. It’s after Thanksgiving, it’s the day before Hanukkah, and it’ll make for solid “Sunday Funday” activities.  Who wouldn’t want to go on the roof with a couple Bud Lights in hand? Now, because January is typically cold and snowy, you don’t want to go outside on a slippery roof and risk falling off while taking down Christmas lights while freezing your tail off, I will give you until February 1st to take down all exterior Christmas decor. Do not be that person that leaves their 7-foot tall blow up snowman in the yard until April fools day. Might as well just leave it up until Christmas of 2019.

Interior decorations is a grey area, as typically the Wedig Women are in charge of this and do it on their own schedule whether we like it or not. Because of this, I am okay with seeing Christmas decor in the house the Saturday after Thanksgiving. NOT Friday! DO NOT come at me the Friday after turkey day and expect me to do anything Christmas. We will all still be recovering from the day before (hangover and food coma) and don’t want to deal with having to go into the garage or attic to grab boxes and totes of Christmas shit. (Sorry Tam, but this is your warning.) Saturday, November 24th you are able to start decorating the house with Christmas stuff. The same rules apply for take down. Do not ask me to start helping take down decorations and take boxes to the garage or attic the days following New Year’s Day. We also can’t do it during the week as we must follow the Number One Rule. Decorations on the interior must be taken down by January 5th.

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The Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree Dates

Put Up – No earlier than Saturday, December 1st
Take Down – No later than Sunday, January 13th

This Christmas Tree is the most important part of Christmas and cannot be taken lightly. Here are some simple rules to start you off:

  1. TCT Rule #1: You must wait until after Thanksgiving.
  2. TCT Rule #2: As referenced in the Christmas Music section, you cannot cut down The Christmas Tree until there is a snowfall. Preferably during a snowfall.
  3. TCT Rule #3: The first day you can go out and look for The Christmas Tree is Saturday, December 1st. (You cannot do it the Saturday following Thanksgiving as you will be taking down interior Christmas decorations.)
  4. TCT Rule #4: You must be at least 3 beers in before you go looking for The Christmas Tree.
  5. TCT Rule #5: You cannot drive more than 20 minutes to look for The Christmas Tree.
  6. TCT Rule #6: When looking for The Christmas Tree, it must be a Douglas Fir. It absolutely CANNOT be fake and it CANNOT be the Virginia Pine. (The one with the droopy, soft needles. Can’t do it.)
  7. TCT Rule #7: Must be at least 6 1/2 feet tall, but no taller than 9 feet.
  8. TCT Rule #8: Big Rod (or the man of the house) is the only person that is allowed to cut down the tree.

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Christmas Day Schedule (including Gift Open Time and Cut Off Time)

Gift Opening

Open – No earlier than 6:00 AM, but NO LATER than 9:00 AM

Lastly, I just want go over Christmas Day. I put together a nice schedule for what your day should look like on Christmas:

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While I’m sure my dates for certain “Christmassy” things might create some controversy, I feel this is the best guide for creating the best Holiday experience as possible. I wish you all nothing but the best of Holiday’s! This will be the last time I talk about Christmas until after Thanksgiving.

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